Resources for "Maybe's":
The Maybe A Baby Questionnaire
Questions to ask yourself if you are undecided about having a child
Developed by Theresa Eberhage and Dr. Mark G. Eberhage
I. Do I have the urge to have a child? If so, why? Has there been an event or revelation that made me think about having a child now?
II. How will pregnancy impact my health? Am I in good enough health to become pregnant?
III. How will it change my body? Can I accept the changes, even if it takes along time to get back to where I was before pregnancy? Would I resent these changes in a way that could impact the child?
IV. Can I handle the labor and delivery? Am I afraid of pregnancy and/or delivery? If so, why?
V. Can I meet the extra expenses and financial responsibilities of a baby (all the expenses: crib equip, diapers, formula); Can I have budget for all of the extra expenses?
VI. What if I have a collicky baby or an unhealthy baby, can I adapt? Will I be able to cope with a challenging child?
VII. How will a baby affect my career? Will I need or be able to stay home for a while, work part time, or work flexible hours?
VIII. Can I do it all? If not, can I live with giving some of my favorite things up? How will having a child affect my ability to live the life I enjoy?
IX. Will you be able to manage with no sleep or very little?
X. How will a baby affect my Relationships:
XI. Do I have enough of a support system, to:
a) help when I first come home with a baby
b) help transition into my new role
c) help create a balance in my life
d) catch up on sleep or errands
XII. What kind of changes do I think I will go through as a person, once I become a parent? How will my self image change?
XIV. Can I, as a woman, be complete without a child?
XV. Regarding personal goals — Have I been able to accomplish what I want in my career, my travels before I have a baby? Or do I think I will be able to accomplish these things after having a baby?
XVI. Will I regret it if I do not have children?
XVII. What advantages are there in not having children?
XVIII. What would be the disadvantages of having children before the time is right?
XIX. What do I imagine will be different when I have a child and how does that impact wanting to have a child?
Click here to download a pdf version of
the Maybe A Baby Questionnaire
Here are some resources that might help you make the decision:
Do I Want to Be A Mom? : A Woman's Guide to the Decision of a Lifetime by Diana L. Dell, Suzan Erem
Briefcase to Diaper Bag: A mother's journey to find balance at home by Katie Kelly Dorn
The Mask of Motherhood: How Becoming a Mother Changes Our Lives and Why We Never Talk About It by Susan Maushart
The Job/Family Challenge by Ellen Bravo Barren in the Promised Land: Americans and the Pursuit of Happiness by Elaine Tyler May The Parenthood Decision by Beverly MFCC Engel Books on Remaining Childless: Pride and Joy: the lives and passions of women without children by Terri Casey Unwomanly Conduct: The Challenges of Intentional Childlessness by Carolyn M. Morell
The Childless Revolution: What It Means to Be Childless Today by Madelyn Cain Cheerfully Childless: The Humor Book for Those Who Hesitate to Procreate by Ellen Metter, Loretta Gomez Without Child: Challenging the Stigma of Childlessness by Laurie Lisle Families of Two by Laura Carroll